The Victim Mentality

The Victim Mentality

There are many that stand in wonder why there are so many people that are dependent upon a nanny state government.  We have all read the stories, examples and expose of this phenomenon.  Some of us (as I have) have had personal experience.  I would like to proffer there is a simple and direct cause.  Of course this is not the only one, but one that is most insidious and hard to cut out like a cancer in our society.  Further, I will go ahead and make the caveat that some people are truly down and out and need a hand up.  However, this is quiet different than what I want to discuss here.

Our society is full of people who, through their own limiting beliefs, have settled into becoming victims of their circumstances. They feel powerless to make changes in their lives because they think that the elements of their lives are out of their control and settle into a victim mentality. All too often they're quick to ask, "Why do bad things keep happening to me? " You probably know someone like this. They are the "why me?" people who always seem to have someone or something to blame for the things in their life that aren't working. They have poor health or bad relationships; they have dead-end jobs or chronic financial problems.  Further, they are so deep into the victim mentality they are easily swindled into becoming a victim of the state; a slave to handouts, not hand ups.

Research tells us these people have a hard time taking responsibility for themselves, their actions, mistakes, and even their own decisions. In short, being a victim requires giving up all personal responsibility. When we allow ourselves to be victims, we are at risk of letting the government or others to dictate how we will feel, and ultimately, who we will be. Nobody – no matter how hard they try – can ever make someone else feel something that they don't want to feel. Think about that for a moment. You are ultimately capable to respond to much greater degrees than you have been led to believe. True responsibility can defined to mean your ability to respond, fully capable to respond powerfully to the occurrences of your life. Because you are the only one able to choose your feelings and your responses to what is happening right now.

More accurately, we're the ones at the helm of how we react to circumstances in our lives. YOU choose to feel mad or happy, bad or good. However, this is only possible when you first choose to be responsible, able to respond to the moment's situation. To relinquish this ability to respond is what makes being a victim possible. Remember,  I'm not saying that there aren't people out there who are truly  victims of crimes or injustices; I am saying that our response to each moment's occurrences, circumstances, situations, events, scenarios or people is what defines us. Remember, at the root of being a victim, nothing in life is ever just happening to us. Our life, as we choose to live it, is occurring within us. In short, we create our realities by virtue of who we're choosing to show up as, moment by moment. Who we're "being" dictates the thoughts we hold in our minds, the words we say and the actions we take. If we show up knowing life to be hard, and the obstacles we face are roadblocks we cannot overcome, then we will stay stuck in that place of defeat or permanent victim!

If instead, we come to see life's challenges as opportunities for growth and expanding into a larger experience and expression of our self, then a whole new set of possibilities will arise. However, if we see challenges in life as someone else's responsibility to resolve we are forever the victim.  Being a victim makes us weak and dependent upon others.  Especially in a nanny state government.

We slip into this victim dependency over time; sometime less aware than one may think.  How does this happen?  Even in the midst of a terrible experience, we always have the power to choose our response. We are always able to be responsible for who we're being in relationship to the experience.  The successful choose to show up victorious, always growing from their experiences. Victims choose to show up as defeated. Who we show up as then becomes the living mirror of our life.  However, when various media and the political class reinforce that we are victims it is likely one will identify with "the victim story".  We believe the story, grow envious and blame successful people for our circumstances and we believe it is true. 

What we say matters.  When we say it enough with conviction, we begin to treat it as the truth.  "I'm a victim and I deserve what MUST be given to me!" Again, nothing during your  life is happening to you because of another (only momentarily). Your life, exactly as IT IS this moment, as unique or bland as you're choosing to live it, is occurring within as through your "lens" of self created reality - right or wrong. It has always been so whether you've been living aware or unaware of the truth of your victim mentality, conscious or unconscious. If you've given over to being a "victim"; letting other people or the events and circumstances of your life control your future, then you are choosing to traveling down a path of pure choice. Even when you "believe" the government is the cause as well as the source of your happiness, you've simply chosen to be victim anyway. And if you are committed more to being a victim than living your life with purpose and with passion, that's okay too. Because as you choose to be either victim or victor, so shall your life reflect your choice.

The choice is always this simple. It is not complex.  However, one must be self aware of the choices they are making or have made.  The choice is always made in the "now" while having a compound effects during our lives. Until you willingly accept that you are the author of your life, from every experience, every situation, every scenario, concluded your situation is permanent or temporary you will not choose to accept or receive the abundance that is yours to accept. In other words, you cannot be a victim and a victor; the two are mutually exclusive. It doesn't make any difference how hard your life has been up to this point. One of the great beauties of this universe is that we have the option to change the course of our lives at any moment. Indeed, only when we're courageous enough to be responsible, exactly as it is, do we truly have the power to choose a brighter tomorrow. Every moment holds the promise of a new choice. Ask yourself, "Do I want to be the victim or the victor; the receiver of life's abundant joy or a sufferer of life's miseries? "You can have what you ask for, but only if you are willing to take responsibility for what is occurring in you life right now. Once you choose to live fully responsible for the asking, you'll come to also be responsible for the receiving. Give yourself credit for the achievements and the mistakes; the good choices and the bad ones. Then you will realize you are not a victim and never have been. You are a victor. Victory is yours in this moment's choice to be responsible. Choose well.