LETTERMAN'S TOP 10
REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now
marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits
of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon
at 15% isn't.
#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do
a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as
long as nobody is offended by it.
#6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own
a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from
murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that
gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
#5. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions
of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and
comfy.
#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a
right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we
should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.
#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not
be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and
give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party
sees fit.
#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges
need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would
never get their agendas past the voters.
#1 reason I vote
Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who
hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle,
gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or
fish in those other countries.
"The difference
between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"... Albert
Einstein
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